Day 365

Yesterday was the year anniversary of Becky first receiving Individualized Funding.  It has been a year of surprises.  I anticipated Becky being almost independent by now, me having a job (and finally improving my financial status) and preparing to move into a cute townhouse with Tom.  None of those things have happened, or are about to happen.

We currently have no staff.  I’m in the process of hiring, but it is frustrating.  The people generally have no post-secondary education, are often from other countires so english is their second or third language, and there are cultural differences which can make life difficult for Becky. 

Becky is only staying at the condo part-time.  We are working on her feelings of security and comfort while she is there.  Last week, I was able to leave her alone for two hours, which is great.  We are planning on having the bathroom renovated there, and having a wheel-in shower installed.  I think, at that point, we will be moving back there at least five days a week.  The renovation should help the staff, and will definitely be an improvement for Becky, who currently transfers herself on and off a bath bench every time she has a shower.  Not easy for someone who can’t stand without her braces on, and can only use one arm.  Try it some time; moving yourself from one surface to another only using one arm. 

Because we don’t have any staff, and because we are wandering minstrels, at the moment, I can’t look for work, and don’t expect to for quite a while, so the coffers continue to shrink.

The last change, is that I am now single, again.  Tom and I went our separate ways a couple of months ago.  Not surprising when you consider the circumstances.  Although most people assumed we were living together, we never did, so for me it has, sadly, been a relatively easy transition.

Have we made any progress?  A question I ask myself most days.  Yes, I think so.  We have a home for Becky whenever she is ready to move on.  We have learnt a lot over the summer.  Becky did learn some new skills, and she is feeling better about being alone at the condo.  We have learnt that Becky needs to do things at her own pace, which is slow, and she needs more input as to the amount of new things she can take on at any given time, and I have learnt that I didn’t train people as well as I could have.  We have had a little break, and we are preparing to try again, and that’s all we can do; keep trying. 

Where will be a year from now?  I can’t even begin to imagine.

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About chebandbecky

I was born in Birmingham, England and emigrated to Canada in 1988. Becky is my daughter who was injured in a car accident. We are working towards her independence.
This entry was posted in chaos, Disability, Family, Home, Independence, Life, parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Day 365

  1. Eveline KELLMAN says:

    sorry to read Tom and you have gone your separate ways, life has not been easy for you for a number of years. Sometimes when we feel there is no end of problems somehow things begin to get better, I should know, being a single parent certainly was not easy,. One thing I did learn over the years was never to say “There is nothing I can do about it” somehow we learn to problem solve or handle the situation. Beoth you and Gerry have stood by Becky and that is a plus, you may not always have agreed but Becky has always been both of your concerns. Out of two different ideas there is usually one the evolves. Keep your chin up. Becky has shown a lot of people how it is possible to keep going and was always determined even as a wee pushy toddler. E.K.xxx ooo

    Date: Wed, 21 Nov 2012 14:53:53 +0000

  2. Nancy says:

    Though you may not be where you thought you would be by this time, it does sound like you have a good grasp on how far you’ve come. Sorry to hear about you and Tom. May this coming year bring more forward movement.

    • chebandbecky says:

      Hi Nancy. Always good to hear from you. Yep, I don’t think we’re getting any further this year. The harder I push, the slower we go. Time to kick back, smell the roses and make a batch of those pumpkin muffins you wrote about. Mmmmmmm.

  3. Eveline Kellman says:

    Are you receiving my e mails? Ev

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