We are back at the house. After a terrible weekend, I decided to bring Becky back to the house (thank God we didn’t sell it) to familiar surroundings.
I’m writing this at a local Tim Horton’s as we don’t have Internet or cable or a phone. It’s like being at the cottage; a Canadian concept of a holiday home.
Becky is not coping, and she went way over the edge on Sunday. Monday morning I mentally battled with her for an hour to get her physically out of the condo. I won’t go into details, but it was very unpleasant.
It slowly dawned on me, in the wee hours, that Becky’s change of personality and slow progress, was her response to a stressful situation. Her attitude, crying, and arguments were her way of coping. She generally is a very happy person, so it seems obvious that something was wrong. I just thought she would settle down and we would move on. As a result, I probably left it longer than I should have. At the time we left the condo, she felt she was incapable of spending any time alone. At the house she contentedly spent two or three hours by herself. If she is unable to manage for a couple of hours, then independence will become an unreachable dream. This is my attempt to get Becky relaxed again, and feeling good about herself; feeling strong.
Anyway, we are on to Plan K. All the previous plans have hit the toilet bowl within two weeks of their conception. Let’s see if this one sticks. We are going to try part-time at the condo and part-time at the house. The house is where Becky lived for six years, she was at the height of her independence here, and there is lots of space. The pressure is off her to perform. If things become difficult, she has the house as a retreat.
I hope this helps, but really I don’t know. There are no guide books, no maps, no rules.