I was sitting out on the deck last night, reading a book, enjoying a moment of quiet, when I realized that this time next week I will be alone. I drive Becky to camp on Sunday where she will stay for ten days. I am alone as I sit on the deck, but I know she is ten feet behind me, in her bed watching a movie. I can’t see her, but I know she is there. Next week, she will be gone.
She’s been to camp many times, but this is the first time I have been at home on my own. Last year I went away, and other years I have spent with other people; friends or family.
She keeps asking me what I will do while she is away. I think she is not happy with my answer, so she asks again. She can’t believe I have nothing planned. I can’t believe it either. Our lives are so regimented that even though we crave free time, we both struggle with it. It is so precious to us that we think must use it wisely and invariably plan the whole thing.
So here I am, on the verge of ten days of freedom, and all I am thinking is how much I will miss Becky; miss her smiling face, her sense of humour, and her singing. I will sit out on the deck next week and I will not have her behind me in her room; unseen. I will miss her presence, her beating heart, her spirit.